How do you envision motherhood? How about sweet baby smells, cooing smiles, and tiny toes? Ah, serenity. Or maybe you imagine oozing poop, screaming colic, and projectile vomit; in other words, sleep deprived insanity. Truth be told, it's a little bit of both. Here, moms who've been there give you the lowdown on what to expect during those first six weeks after bringing home your bundle of joy - both the wonderful and the not-so-glamorous parts of motherhood.

Is this my body? From the moment of conception, some pretty incredible things begin happening as your body blossoms from a nonpregnant state to a pregnant one. And blossom it does. Everything from your blood volume to your hormones increase as your body prepares to house and nourish a new living being for 40 weeks. Immediately following birth, the body begins to reverse this process.

"The first few days after birth are sometimes called the 'taking in' phase of postpartum adjustment," says Nicole Rawson, CNM, of Magee Women's Hospital of the University of Pittsburgh Medical Center. "Your body is going through many physical and emotional changes as you begin to 'take in' the reality that the baby is here, and you are no longer a pregnant woman, but a mother now."

According to Laura Zeidenstein, CNM, MSN, Program Director of the Nurse-Midwifery Program of Columbia University, New York, these changes include the release of lochia, or bloody discharge, from the uterus as well as a sharp decrease in the amount of estrogen, which in turn begins the feedback system to establish the milk supply.

"The uterus is rapidly shrinking in size," explains Rawson, "causing cramps or 'after pains.' When you were pregnant, your body had extra blood volume to supply the uterus, baby, and breasts. As your body gets rid of this extra blood and fluid, you will notice that you sweat and urinate more. You may even temporarily get some mild swelling in your ankles."

Rawson adds that hemorrhoids are common during this time, but "will usually decrease in size, number, and discomfort rapidly over the next couple of days."

Any post-delivery pains gradually subside, until they are gone or barely perceptible by the end of the first week. Breastfeeding can generate some discomfort, as the hormones that are released while feeding the baby cause the uterus to cramp. This is actually an advantage, however, says Rebecca Hulem, CNM, RNP, as "the uterus will often return to its normal size a little faster when you are breastfeeding."

For the first few days, says Zeidenstein, the breasts tend to be soft, as the body is producing colostrum, a thin, clear-yellow liquid high in protein that precedes the more mature milk. At around day three or four, "your breasts now begin to produce breast milk," explains Rawson, "and you may notice engorgement or the sudden filling of your milk ducts with milk."

During this time, your emotions may be all over the place. "Women have described these days to us as wonderful, confusing, a blur, exciting, emotional, nerve wracking, and exhausting," says Rawson, "sometimes all in the same day!"

While emotional lows, known as the baby blues, may be common among new moms, Rawson urges any woman to see a healthcare provider - whether it's a nurse-midwife, a general care practitioner, or even the baby's pediatrician - if the feelings persist or make her feel unable to care for herself or her baby.

Don't even think about it. While most textbooks recommend waiting until after the six-week check-up to have sex again, Rawson says, "In general, we tell women that if their bleeding has stopped, they feel their bottom has healed, and they feel ready to have sex, they may."

Should you choose to have sex during this time, be sure to have some form of birth control handy, even if you're breastfeeding.

"Some women may begin to ovulate as soon as four to six weeks after delivery - before even getting their first period!" explains Rawson.

"Sex during those first six weeks? Are you mad?!" cringes Jan Fiske, mother of two. "I was grateful to have a rest period per doctor's orders during that time. I was a sleep-deprived, milking machine. No sexual thoughts even crept in during that time. After those first six weeks, it was still about another month before I felt even remotely sexual."

Lisa Berryment, mother of three, agrees. "The first few weeks I was oozing milk from my breasts and blood from my vagina, I still had a huge belly, I was a sleep-deprived zombie, and there was a baby in the room. I wasn't 'me.' I was some strange Jabba-the-Hutt dairy-maid. I can't imagine he wanted to touch me - at least not to initiate love-making.

New Dads Hey! I'm a new parent too! Dads are often left out of the picture when it comes to baby. After all, it's mom who gets pregnant, mom who gives birth, mom who breastfeeds. But dad's have feelings, too - and play a very important role in the life of the new baby. Armin Brott, a.k.a. "Mr. Dad" and author of The New Father: A Dad's Guide to the First Year (Abbeville Press, 2nd ed. 2004), says that dads go through the whole gamut of emotions: love, excitement, pride, disbelief, anxiety, and fear. "Some dads," he says, "feel a little jealous of the close relationship that mom and baby have and they worry that they can't possibly compete and that whatever they do wouldn't be nearly as important as what mom does." Brott recommends that dad help mom out during this time of adjustment. "Take the baby and let mom have some sleep. Encourage and support mom in her efforts to breastfeed. And take on more of the household chores, or at least make sure that someone besides mom does them." A good way to bond with baby, says Brott, is to take off your shirt and have plenty of skin-to-skin time with baby. Hold the baby. Talk to the baby and get her used to the sound of your voice. "Never pass up an opportunity to do something with the baby. Make the baby part of your life and get to know each other."

Some women - and men - however, feel okay with resuming sex during those first six weeks. "I did exactly what the doctor told me to do and waited six weeks until my check-up to resume sexual activities," says Cheryl Green, RN, who has five children. "That was on the first child. After that, I resumed as soon as I felt like it, which was at different times for each one. I felt fine as early as two weeks. It did take a little longer for me to get excited about it after being touched all day and night, but I would try to relax and focus on that rather than on the baby and nursing."

Speaking of nursing, remember that one effect of breastfeeding is vaginal dryness. "Lubricate!" laughs Jennifer Vogler, RN, a maternity nurse and mom of three. Many women find during this time of baby nurturing and breastfeeding that they go into "touch overload," and have a difficult time separating "mommy" from "lover." This is a great opportunity to communicate to your partner how you're feeling. And you never know, he may have reservations himself! "My husband was very anxious to have sex again," says Fiske, "but then again, he was also a bit scared of the episiotomy stitches and hurting me."

Vogler also points out that areas of sex you once enjoyed may not be high on your list. "My breasts were 'in use' very frequently by the baby, so it did turn me off to have my husband reaching for them. They needed a break!"

Give me a break! Fatigue is caused by a number of things, including physical and psychological changes, learning to breastfeed, and lack of sleep, and can be overwhelming during the first few weeks. The most common advice: sleep when the baby sleeps. 

"I tried to go by everyone's advice to sleep when the baby slept," says Fiske, "but that often times just made me feel worse. By the time I headed to my bed and wound down, it was time to get up again. I ended up just getting used to being functional with less sleep."

Green did find that short rest periods worked, even if she didn't sleep. She soon learned the temptation, however, is to get caught up on housework and other chores that are difficult to do while baby is awake. "I had to learn to re-evaluate my priorities and make resting one of them," says Green.

Green also says that she had to swallow her pride and ask for help when the exhaustion was too overwhelming. "When I was extremely tired I would ask someone to watch the kids while I would lie down for an hour. This was very hard for me to admit to and ask for help, but I did it for my own sanity."

Donna Maria Coles Johnson, author of Making Aromatherapy Creams & Lotions (Storey Books, 2000) and self proclaimed advocate for new moms, applauds women like Green. She says that more women need to recognize their need for help - and not take it as a sign of inadequacy. "I came to a point after my first baby where I knew I was overwhelmed and needed help. I needed some time to myself, even if it was just for an hour to soak in the tub or take a nap."

Johnson highly recommends hiring a mother's helper, typically a high-school or college-age girl, to help out. "Not only are they giving you the gift of time to yourself, but you, in turn, are teaching them valuable lifelong skills they might not otherwise ever learn - until they're in your position!"

Will it ever end? The early days of your little one's life may seem to go on and on, and there will be days you think it'll never end. "At the time," says Fiske, "I didn't see the light at the end of the tunnel - only the ball and chain of it all."

But moms who've been in your place urge you to hang in there! "I think attitude goes a long way in being successful in parenting a newborn," reflects Vogler. "Be positive, take it all in, follow your instincts, and don't wish away those newborn days. They will be gone before you know it, and your baby will soon be crawling off into new adventures."

*taken from "The First Six Weeks," by Carrie Myers-Smith, Every Baby magazine, Issue Four.