Although even one incident is one too many, domestic abuse is defined as a pattern of behavior of threatened or actual violence committed by a current or former intimate partner. Domestic abuse is not only physical violence. Partners can also be emotionally or psychologically abusive by: failing to show affection or caring for a child; interacting only when necessary; staying emotionally uninvolved and detached.

Why? The abusive partner usually seeks to gain power and control in the relationship through fear and intimidation. The abuser tries to control his partner's behavior by isolating her from friends and family, monitoring her movements, belittling or humiliating her in private or in public or restricting her access to financial resources.

He may force her to have sex or to perform sexual acts that make her feel degraded. He may limit her access to medical care or threaten to hurt himself or take away her children if she does not comply with his wishes. Sometimes women are not aware that they are being abused. They may believe that their partner's behavior is due to a bad day at work, financial pressures, jealousy, depression or use of alcohol or drugs. Often, the abuser will say he's sorry, bring her gifts, and promise never to hurt her again. Cultural or religious norms may also play a role in one partner's response to the other's controlling or punishing behavior.

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